It never goes away.
It stays buried in the deepest part of your soul waiting for any opportunity to take over.
No matter how busy you get, it lingers there in your head.
While you listen to music or watch a movie, it’s there.
While working or playing or in the middle of conversation, it’s there.
While washing dishes or doing the laundry, it’s there.
No matter how hard you try to occupy your head, it’s there.
You’re laughter is heard by everyone but they don’t see your soul fading away.
When you feel alone while being surrounded by people who care is never right.
Let it go.
Let it go.
Let it go.
Keep on moving.
Leave it behind.
Having one doesn’t make you weak. It actually makes you stronger.
To tame such beast and keep it in a small space in your head is a lot of work.
Let it remind you that you are strong. Stronger than that thing that’s eating you inside.
When the beast is whispering in your head, ignore it.
It will try crawl it’s way out but don’t let your shield down.
Good things around you may feel like false happiness but they are stepping stones to be better.
Hold on to those little happy thoughts even if it’s just a grasp.
Little by little, your soul will heal. It is scarred, but it will heal.
Then one day, someday, it will be good.
It is a waiting game. Be patient.
I am not telling you to be happy.
I am telling you to be patient.
I have been living my life for almost a decade now, from being a working student to having a professional job. A lot of things has gone through my life. Numerous obstacles came my way as well as various tough decisions to make.
From my experience, money handling has been hard especially when you don’t have the proper skills and discipline to manage your finances. You always tend to be broke and unable to buy the things the you needed.
Before, I was recklessly wasteful when my allowance is handed to me. I’ll go the nearest mall and buy the things I want.
I was raised in the typical environment where people are drowned in debts and everyone knows nothing but to talk about money and the luxuries it could give you. Once someone get their salary, instantly, they go shopping galore as if there is no tomorrow. And then on the following day, runs to the nearest sari-sari store to loan for grocery goods. Envious neighbors try their best to be competitive with one another and buy things that they saw the other one bought. Take note, it should be more expensive and of better brand than the other one.
I was born with no permanent address and that my family is financially broken. While I was young and someone gives me money, I’ll buy everything that can be bought with the money given to me. I feel happy of course. I was kid!
But then as I grew up, I learned to value every penny that land unto my hands. I realized that not everyday, and especially not forever, someone would be that nice to just give me some money. Slowly, I became thrifty.
Many calls me stingy but I don’t care. I need to have a lot of self control and spend only for the things I need. Every payday, i see to it that i already have my budget list and segregate the payment for utility bills and allowances. Afterwards, I save up all the remaining amount.
So far, I am financially stable. I am able to provide for my family and live a simple life.
It is a very nice feeling to accomplish simple tasks like this. At the end of the day, you are relieved and satisfied of your accomplishment.
I was browsing for available topics to write about. There are different genres like books, movies and songs. Software and site reviews are also preferable.
I am still thinking and i can’t decide. I am overwhelmed and excited right now.
Time for some coffee break.
It was such an odd weekends. So different from my regular Saturday and Sunday routine.
I ended up my TGIF night at 3:30 in the morning after reading a lots from old magazines. Haven’t got the time to pay attention to reading materials lately. There are many interesting tips and topics that i have read and i learned much. I’ll post some of the useful tips from the mags to share with you.
My Saturday begun early at 8 o’clock in the morning. The usual wake up time for this day is around pass 2 o’clock in the afternoon. To start the day, we ate pandesal and pancit canton(Lucky Me!) just like the typical days when you don’t have work or school. Usually, I don’t eat breakfast because I am always in the rush every morning.
After a quick breakfast, we went downstairs to the mini-park aka garden of the condo area to jog. We jogged back and forth for some time. I only lasted for 5 rounds of a 25-meter long walking area. It was tiring but felt great. I haven’t jogged for a long time and doing it again was so amazing. Every sweat is worth. We bought buko juice from a cart vendor passing by. So refreshing.
It was brunch time when we got back to the house. We ate the pancit canton while watching “Step Up” which we had left after breakfast. The movie was great but unfortunately, the movie copy is not good and just went on hanging over and over. We ended up watching “Game KNB?” but it’s okay. I missed watching TV a LOT! I haven’t got the time to watch because I leave the house early and came back late. *sigh. Anyways, the game was fun and i liked it when we are tried to answer the questions. It was fun!
Lunch time came and we are still in front of the TV. This time it was Willie Revillame’s show “Wowowee”. I don’t like that noon time show. I kinda felt it boring and most of the time corny. But that Saturday, i tried to keep an opened mind. Thankfully, It was an entertaining episode. I was amazed with the senior citizens who were part of their segment “Bigatin”. One lolo sang a kundiman song whole-heartedly that he even cried while singing. It was a touching and pitiful moment. Touching because he sang from the heart. Pitiful because people laughed at him as he cry while singing. I can’t blame them. The show was meant to make people happy. The sad part is, they are laughing on someone else’s wistful moment. Oh well. While we are enjoying the show, we are eating lunch. we had corned beef and dinengdeng.
Over the meal we decided to watch movie. We have long awaited for the “Forbidden Kingdom” since the first time we heard of it. This movie would be the first time that Jackie Chan and Jet Li will be appearing on the big screen together. I am so excited about it and was really anxious to watch. We have agreed to watch the 3:15PM show time at the Trinoma cinema. After eating, we took a rest and started preparing for our day out.
To be continued…