I want to travel back in time and give myself a pat on the back and tell the old me that everything will be alright. That all the bitterness in her heart will be gone and that the pain is all worth it, if not because of those tears she cried she won’t experience the happiness her future self is so grateful for. And if not because of the hurdles, she won’t learn how to stand up and walk again. That she don’t need to shut the world out of her life.
I want to tell her how lucky she is to meet the people who will eventually be her friends for life. Who will never turn their back on her despite the fact that she can’t always be physically with them. That in their presence in her Facebook inbox, there is no distance between them. That there are cool stickers to share her thoughts and that she can still have their shoulders to cry on. That she is never alone and never will be.
I want to tell her that there are so many inspiring stories that she’ll learn along the way. That she too will try to inspire others. That no matter how many times she tried to give up on some people, still her stubborn self will still try to help them out. That it is an awesome feeling to see the people she have helped grow and flourish and be better.
I want to tell her that someday in her future, she’ll meet someone who is crazy enough to accept her for who she is. Someone who’ll try to understand her mad world and won’t judge her crazy antics. That someone very sweet is there for her to cheer her up and is willing to draw a smile on her face. Who is willing to stay by her side silently while she stare blankly in the sky. Someone that will guide her to live life and experience the world and appreciate all beautiful things around her. Someone who will make her realize how blessed she is with her life. Someone whose hands perfectly fits hers.
I want to tell her that her world will be filled with love from those who treasure her in their hearts.
And yes, she will be treasured. She will be loved. She will be accepted.
So i’ll hug her tight and wipe those tears and whisper to her, “Stay strong, self. Everything will be alright.”
Just looking back “I Wear Black” 2002