Month: April 2009

Time Is Up! I have Resigned

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Today, I have filed my resignation letter.

Effective May 10, 2009, I am no longer part of Molave Internet Solutions and Prime Outsourcing. The “management” has decided not to allow me to come tomorrow in the company outing.

I have seen that coming.

Sorry office friends, I broke my promise. I can’t enjoy that summer beach outing with you. Don’t forget my pasalubong. We only have one week together, let’s make it worth while.

It has been a great experience to be here. All I want to take with me are our good memories together.

Walang manggugulo sa post kong ito 😛 This is my moment hehe

PS. block ang facebook at wordpress… hmmm

Remembering Lolo Fonso(My Eulogy)

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My lolo was buried last friday. I told myself that i would be strong while i gave my eulogy. But I failed. I trembled in front of everyone. Tito Fem, Casa and Tito Jun also gave their eulogy. I was just hurt when Tito Jun didn’t mentioned my dad’s name in his speech.

Here is my speech.

I stayed in Isabang until I was ten before i permanently moved to Manila. Afterwards, my visits here are rare and short. After thirteen years, this would be my longest stay here again.

For the family and close people who know me, I am very popular as the most naughty kid among our generation. The most unforgettable thing that I have done as a kid was that acetone incident. I replaced his eye medicine with acetone that nearly blinded him. Thanks God he was okay.

There are other numerous naughty moments that I have done while living here. Day after day, I tested everyone’s patience. They almost gave up on me.

But I wasn’t able to escape lolo’s hands. Everytime I did something wrong, I would tremble in terror and hide. When I was a kid, they were not able to spank me. No matter how much they wanted. But he was the only one who laid his hands on me. But it happened only once and it never happened again.

Every Sunday when he was still strong, he would go to Tayabase or visit the church in Lucena. He would never forget to bring me pasalubong. It was always bread. He knew that I loved them.

I can’t think of anything else about him. I was still a kid back then. All I know is that the world is small and it only revolves so I could play.

But now that he is gone, I now understand what kind of person he is.

I know that he is a silent guy with tons of stories to tell. He may be grumpy but he is funny sometimes. He cares a lot his family and he loves mommy(my lola) so the most. He is very generous and warm. He entertains everyone who enters his doors. He accepted me wholeheartedly for whoever I am and forgave and forget all the wrong-doings that I have done.

The saddest realization that I had is that I never showed him how much I loved him and how grateful I am to him. The saddest part is to say goodbye. But it is harder to say goodbye to someone you love but wasn’t able to spend time with them.

I love this song by Dan Fogelberg called “Leader of the Band”. (I actually sang this part, but because i was in the verge of crying and is shaking, I wasn’t able to perform it well.)

I thank you for the music
And your stories of the road
I thank you for the freedom
When it came my time to go
I thank you for the kindness
And the times when you got tough
And, papa, I dont think i
Said i love you near enough

The leader of the band is tired
And his eyes are growing old
But his blood runs through
My instrument
And his song is in my soul
My life has been a poor attempt
To imitate the man
Im just a living legacy
To the leader of the band
I am the living legacy
To the leader of the band.

Goodbye lolo. We’ll never forget you.

Must Stay Strong

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Exactly three months before my birthday, a bad news came. My grandpa passed away.

I was just diagnosed with a stomach disease, lost my client in the office, been sickly lately, inconsistent attendance and now, I lost someone I love.

He is my beloved grandpa. I lived in the province during my childhood days. He is very strict and grumpy but he can be funny sometimes. He is very warm and caring. Every sunday when he came home after church, he never forgets to buy something for me. They may never be fancy, just some bread or cookies will do. He is very thoughtful and generous. He welcomes us in his house with wide arms open.


And now he is gone. May he rest in peace with his loved ones who are also in heaven.

For the recent months, I have been dreaming of him. And now, I understand why.

My cousin said, he have been calling my name. Thinking about it makes me cry.

I won’t be able to come to work and do my tasks for a week. I don’t how we could survive in the first half of May. But it doesn’t matter. I just want to go home and mourn. I just to be there. In the place where I grew up and mold a part of myself. A place of sanctuary and lots of memories.

It has been hard for me these past few weeks but I must stay strong. I must keep the faith.

I should… and would… never give up.

God guide me through.

photo credit

What A Week It Has Been

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It has been a very tough week for me. Day by day, things happen as if there were no tomorrow. At a moment I am happy and then I would be sad. Some days, I don’t have full time sleep.

I only made few working hours for the whole week because I was absent yesterday and got 3 undertimes for Monday, Wednesday and Thursday. I was having headaches lately. Must go and see an eye specialist.

I would be short in budget for the coming payday, that is for sure.

My client for a year decided to end up his contract with the office. Due to no web projects coming in, he is in Hawaii, he needs to remove some expenses. I was able to build 3 sites for him and the last one went live just this week too. A proud milestone for me but at the same time, a sad lost.

When there is a lost, there is gain.

God didn’t just took away things from me for no rightful reasons. He just wanted me to be strong and be able to step one foot forward. When I lost my client, it was as if I was awaken from a very, very long sleep.

The lost was an eye-opener.

I must not stuck myself into something that is no longer making me grow. For the recent months, I became so much stressed and bored. I can’t think properly and my logic is slowly degrading. My mind is already looking for new challenges. I am not saying that working with my client is boring. I learned a lot, really. And whenever there is a new task or problem handed to me, it excites me. My working environment is what I hindering me to grow. The melancholic athmosphere is keeping me down. Added to that is the ever slow internet connection that we are experiencing and the slow computer that I have. Really sucks especially when you deadlines ahead of you and can’t finish them on time. Most of the time I would fell asleep while I watch my files being uploaded.

Next month would mark my 3 years of IT experience. Yey! I can’t believe it has already been that long since I graduated college and entered the real world. No allowances. No school projects. No thesis. No assignments, quizzes and major exam. 3 years ago during this month, you could see me and my buddies cramming for our thesis. No sleeping. No going home. Awake for almost 24 hours. We are like walking zombies and as pale as vampires.

Tough times.

But they were over.

I graduated and welcomed the career life.

And now, I am here. Bored. No thrills. No excitement. Plain.

For the past few days, I started to try new things. Joomla was my first subject. Complicated at first. Going smooth as I familiarize myself.

Blessings came.

I would be teaching Joomla and WordPress. Great gig! Finally, there is something new happening in my life.

While I teach, I could do something that I love doing.


I have a blogging task. Fun. Adventurous. Something that suits my interests.

When you love what you are doing, time flies by.

I love God for he loves me so much. He makes me do the things I like doing. And with that, I promise to do my best in return.

This week has been tough.

But it has been one of my most blessed week.

Client-Based with No Client

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Today is my last day with my client. And no, I didn’t resigned just like what some asks. I am now officially a client-based employee with no client.

I feel sad but it’s okay. When there is a beginning, there is an end. When there is an end, the door is opened for new opportunities.

I was shocked but I didn’t let the surprise eat me. I was still able to focus with my work.

I as type every script in the code and fix every bugs, I am torn apart. There is that feeling in your heart that you can’t explain but you could feel your heart being ripped.

He has been my client for year now and I must say, I have really learned a lot from the experience. Being his sole web developer pushed me to the edges and explore new technologies and methodologies. Applications and designs that I always told myself before, only “Masters” could. But I was able to do them. I am a not master. Just an ordinary girl in-loved with PHP but I was I able to find ways to solve almost every problem we encountered in web development. Of course thanks to google and to our forum, PHPUGPH.

I just realized, I dunno why I am writing. Maybe because I just finished everything just now and my adrenaline level just got down. And now I am feeling the loneliness.

For those who have knew me personally, they could say that I really value work and how dedicated I am. Before, when we still have Saturdays, I am very much willing to do offsets and change-schedules to be able to work on weekends. Sometimes, I do almost two straight shifts.

Well, it is now time to move on to a new chapter. The admin haven’t told me about this. Sad. I already have this feeling that I am hanging in bridge just waiting to fall down. I just wished they have told me earlier. tsk! Very unprofessional of them. tsk!

Anyways, forget about “them”.

Starting tomorrow, er, about fifteen minutes ago, I am now a client-based-employee-with-no-client. 😀

I will just be waiting for the new tasks that would be given to me.

photo courtesy of

The Trip To The Doctor

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Earlier, I went for a check-up. I was diagnosed with “Acid Peptic Disease”. My stomach produces gas and acid in above normal rate causing my stomach lining to be scarred. The doctor gave me a medicine much stronger from the previous one that he gave me. This med would help neutralize the so much acidity  and aid my stomach lining. As a backgrounder, this was my third trip to the doctor for stomach problem.

Even if I am acidic, my stomach cannot digest all the food that I eat. I was advised to frequently take small amount of food. Being a gluttonous person, this is kinda tough. I am known to eat tons of food in just a meal. Now, I have to divide my food intake.

I have a very bad eating habit. I only eat “heavy” breakfast and “heavy” dinner. I always skip lunch. My bad! As part of my medication, I need to eat small meal every three hours. This would help my stomach digest all the food that I take.

Of course, there are lots of food and drinks that I can’t have. Acidic, fatty, spicy and oily food are on the “Do Not Eat” list, including those with caffeine and chocolate. Yes, chocolate. The most wonderful food ever made… I can’t eat those. Now, I have to give all my reserved Cadbury chocolate to my little brother, sigh.

In the “Do not Drink” list are caffeinated drinks like tea, choco, cola and COFFEE! What would life be without coffee? *sniff*

It is hard to believe but I did not drink coffee for three months after my last trip to the doctor. I was advised to stop drinking coffee for a month until I got used to it for about three months. I just started drinking coffee again about two weeks ago and the result was quiet unpleasant. And now, I am ban from coffee for my two weeks medication. I have to seek for new remedies for sleepiness.

In case that I don’t get well, they will need to do Ultrasound then another sets of medications. After that, if it gets worse, they would check my stomach with a camera. It’s esophagogastroduodenoscopy or endoscopy for short. I joked around that they can’t do endoscopy on me because the camera would be melted inside my stomach. Cornball! hehe

I also inquired about Vaxigrip, an influenza vaccine given to us last February 6 of this year.

The doctor explained, there four types of influenza string. Yearly, there is an influenza outbreak. Noone knows which type would hit the country yearly. The vaccine given to us is only capable of protecting us from one certain type. That means if the vaccine given to us is for Type A and the one that is spreading is Type B, thus, we are still not safe. We could still acquire flu.

“Rumors” say that we are protected from flu but we are not. It is good to be vaccinated but it is not enough to protect us from flu.

And so, in end, I have no choice but to be serious with my health. NO coffee for two weeks, drink a lot of water and eat tons of food. I mean, “frequently” eat small amount of food. 😀